Post 11 | People Watching

The following events happened during my twenty minutes of people watching.
A really loud car just passed. The kid inside looked like a weirdo.
There a guy with a purple hat and he is wearing white headphones. He has a black computer and it is really small. There is a girl to my right that is wearing a purplish dressish with a blueish sweater on. She has blonde hair and has a computer just like I do!
She’s looking up the same stuff I am. Beavers.
There are so many unnecessarily loud cars and it’s getting kind of annoying.
There is a guy who is smoking next to me.
There is an awesome dog in the car that just passed. 
This girl freaked out cause she thought this guy flicked something on her. She even knocked over a table. Everybody watched.
Some guy just yelled something rude out of a car.

People-watching was an interesting exercise for me in the sense that it expanded my World. Usually I tend to focus on my thoughts, myself, my my my. I realized that the many people hold different habits than I do. Some people preferred to study headphones in and others do not as reflected in my observations. Honestly when I started to observe other people at first I felt almost awkward, after a while I realized that it was almost enjoyable. Were all in the same world figuring out how to live life and understand our purpose. It seems more than logical to people watch because we are simply observing someone trying to face the same trials we are. Overall this was a very great experience. It not only expanded my World but also changed my view of people watching. Its not only a good experience but a life changing one. I will probably start to people watch more. 

Post 10 | Madame Descartes

In the reading of “Madame Descartes” there is an incredibly strong voice of love and beauty seen. It is not simply a voice that describes but reflects the true emotions he feel when seeing this woman. This is a key in good poetry. It is truly a job well done when someone is able to show their feelings or the feelings that may suppose to be felt through literature. It’s almost the same as taking a picture so good in that it seems the viewer is almost there. We have always heard it’s completely different to be there in person than to simply view the picture. The one’s who are truly talented at their skills weather photography or in this case literature are able to for go the unfortunate situation of not being present. A sample of the elaborate language is seen in this passage when David St. John says, “Before the mirror I could see why scandal had tattooed even the air she walked through. I’d never seen a beauty like hers, riveting at the unicorn’s soft eye.” The analogy given in this quote to her beauty being that of a fictional creature soft eye in mind blowing. Not only does David St. John of her beauty on the atmosphere around her (scandal had tattooed even the air she walked though) he also gave an analogy that was appropriate but also evoked emotion. This is my goal when writing poetry. The most incredible thing though is that his language is not simply the use of large words yet is emotion being brought to life where large words are the only appropriate language at the time. Altogether I am moved when reading this. I have never seen love and beauty described in such a vivid way. I feel it fulfilled its purpose to the reader (me) by moving my emotion.

Post 9 | Painting Project Experience

Our class time this past Thursday was dedicated to painting. Although we painted not simply for the expression of our artistic side, yet for the expression of our emotion toward a very powerful passage of the Bible called Joel. Honestly my initial thought when hearing our project briefing for Thursday was not one of excitement but one of apathy. I didn’t really understand how painting could be used as expression of feelings in literature. This misunderstanding simply goes to prove my next point that an exercise such as this is not explained but instead experienced. As seen in my painting below in my previous blog, a lifeless tree and a hot sun are depicted. This image came to my mind when reading of the explicit destruction Joel speaks of in the passage. By painting the image the impact of the nature God created being cursed to death became more impactful for me. It is one thing to read it, it is even one thing to read it slowly and with thought, although it is completely another thing to create and draw an interpretation of the words we read. This forces us to come to conclusion on our feelings of the scripture. The dead tree and scorching sun is what has been proclaimed over the Earth. When thinking about it that is an extremely powerful proclamation. The painting worked well in accordance with Joel to being such a powerful passage to life. The truth is that many times I read a powerful passage and likely neglect it simply because I don’t take the time to turn it into application. The painting project was not only beneficial but also eye opening. Almost like a dream where after you realize you had more imagination than you though you could even have, is how I feel after this painting experience. 

Post 8 | Painting Project

This is my painting.

Post 7 | Joel

When reading the passage of Joel I could not simply sight-read and move on, yet instead had to slowly focus on each section of text. Throughout the passage God mentions several types of terrors from the infiltration of locusts to the harshness of famine. In the midst of reading all of this I realized all of this devastation was coming from God. Ignoring small literary devices here and there, I can’t help but look and see the bigger message of this passage; God is not only happiness and fluff. Very rarely in modern Christianity we focus of the dark, less forgiving aspects of God. In section two God says “Alas for the day! For the day of the Lord is near, and it will come as destruction from the Almighty.” In no way is God being the kind gentle cuddling with the lamb type of figure we see in Christian book stores everyday. This passage speaks for when the Bible says, “God is a jealous God.” Sadly many Christian’s pick and choose when reading the Bible. The truth is that there are many parts throughout the Bible where God is not comforting yet releasing his vengeance. I feel this passage of Joel is a good read because it gets me out of my box. Similar to our visit to the cemetery is the studying of this passage. We must not ignore some dark yet realistic aspects of life. The truth is we must face them head of for the purpose of increasing our faith weather or not how must doubt we think it will place in us. Ignoring questions that may test our faith is not an act of faith yet a blind following. Jesus says, “the truth will set you free.” Although it is impossible to understand everything there is to know about God we must never be afraid to confront the things that test our faith. I feel reading Joel is a great practice of this as it reflects the vengeance of God in an extremely strong way.

Post 6 "A Grief Observed" Chapters 3 & 4

Chapters three and four of “A Grief Observed” continue to account for the extreme grief felt by C.S. Lewis. Throughout all of his questions and expressions of frustration, a pattern is seen that simply leads to the conclusion that C.S. Lewis is in a battle with himself and the feelings he’s having. In chapter three he addresses the aspect of faith in the Christian walk when saying “The faith which ‘took these things into account’ was not faith but imagination.” The truth is that it takes faith to have faith. The concept that faith exists is having faith. In the Christian walk this presents the question of whether faith is real, or everything we hope in is simply a projection of our imagination. C.S. This means that our entire Christian walk (in C.S. Lewis’ case, the belief that his wife was in heaven) is teeter-tottered on the idea of faith. C.S. Lewis presents this question as a metaphor being a house of cards. A house of cards can be completely destroyed if one card at the bottom is taken our. In realizing this C.S. Lewis says that if that was his situation, it would be better to destroy everything he believed in now that later. He didn’t want a house of cards yet a truth with a firm foundation. When reading this I didn’t believe that C.S. Lewis was denying his faith yet expressing that he wanted to have a solid understand of what he was putting his faith into. Without this understanding, the idea that his wife was in heaven had no more value than a simple projection in his mind had. In the midst of mulling over this difficult question I was brought to the conclusion that our faith must be tested and we mustn’t be afraid to test it. We cannot fully understand God but must strive to solidify our faith nevertheless. Solidifying our faith does not simply mean to believe blindly but confront difficult questions which altogether should only confirm our beliefs. 

Post 5 | Cemetery

At first when visiting the cemetery I felt a mix of emotion. It was difficult to know how to feel, because in a society like ours the fact of death is avoided so often. After maybe five to ten minutes of strolling the grounds it dawned on me; we we’re observing the grief experienced by others. Holding the book “A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis in my hands at the point of this epiphany, made the experience that much more powerful. Our visit to the cemetery was not to study a simply piece of land with rock embedded throughout it, yet was significant for the purpose of confronting a very real part of life that it often ignored. Looking at the dates (1888 – 1945) hit me extremely hard. I couldn’t help but think, these people once existed and now are simply a memory. How could it be that I rarely consider this same fate that I am bound to? Once entering into this conflict with myself I realized I was starting to feel what I believe were many of the same emotions C.S. Lewis felt when journaling “A Grief Observed.” C.S. Lewis was at the point where death no longer was simply a word, but an experience he had to bear as result of the death of his wife. Although visiting the cemetery was only a hint of the emotions C.S. Lewis may have been feeling, with that experience I can now read “A Grief Observed” with more respect for the fate we are all subject to; death. Experiences such as our last field trip to the cemetery are necessary. Reality cannot be avoided and shouldn’t be. Finally I would like to say that I have a new appreciation for life. Life can be easily taken for granted. It is my goal now to live everyday as if it is my last one.

Post 4 "A Grief Observed" Chapters 1 & 2

Chapters one and two of “A Grief Observed” account for the grief C.S. Lewis experienced as result of his beloved wife’s death. The concept is given that grief is not simply an emotion or feeling experienced within a period of time. Grief is a flood of emotions that may very well be the hardest form feeling to describe in the entire World. C.S. Lewis opens in chapter one saying “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” When reading this I was so impacted as one who had experienced grief from loss of a loved one himself, that I felt the book could simply be summed up in that one phrase. Although is does not end there. Throughout each chapter he continues to address every aspect of grief. One part of chapter one that caught my eye was his realistic approach on loss. The truth is that despite sayings like “she’s in a better place now” his loved one was now as mystical and invisible as God was. In chapter two he speaks further on the concept that her body “went on.” He reiterates that although she may be in a better place it doesn’t change that she is now part of his past. She is no longer there to love him, be with him, or speak to him. In finishing these chapters I came to a conclusion. To write such a passage that seemed not only an explanation of grief but also be a grieving in itself, the writer must have been in a current state of grief when writing it. Throughout chapter one and two, C.S. Lewis is grieving. He is grieving the loss of his wife who had brought him joy for so many years. In no way is this book meant to be a happy one. It is meant to approach the very real not always joyful part of life known as grief. I feel it is a very necessary read as it addresses a part of life many people are afraid to address; grief.

Literature at Lunch

Our table discussion included many great pieces of literature including an inspirational book about Jesus, music lyrics from the band mewithoutYou, and a chapter on theme from The Literary Experience. The book about Jesus encouraged believers to mold their lives after Jesus and try to walk in his ways. What better role model is there than Jesus? The discussion of this challenging while inspiration book not only inspired me in my personal walk, but also implanted a desire to cultivate my life with more Christian literature. The lyrics from mewithoutYou were my choice and honestly my personal favorite, as they pertained to my life in many ways. The name of the song studied at our discussion was “nice and blue part two.” This song accounts for an era of the lead singers life that was less than comfortable as far as emotions are concerned. Tossed in-between his close relationship with his girlfriend and the direction to leave his close companion given by God is the conflict addressed within the song. As this was my conflict for a period of my life I can relate in many ways to these incredible lyrics. The lyrics are not simply to understand but must be “torn-apart” to understand their true meaning. This not only provides for great literary challenge, but also gives the reader an appreciation for their deep meaning. Finally the topics of themes within literature were discussed. I never understood the importance of a theme until the discussion this chapter. When thinking about it weather or not you realize it, your mind is sublimely picking out and looking for themes in literature. Knowing this is true the practice of using specific themes when writing literature can be a useful tool to provoke emotion and sometime impact the readers life in a great way. Altogether the discussion of literature within a small group not only informed me but gave me an appreciation for literature I had not previously had.

Post Two "What do we talk about when we talk about love"

One of the first things I realized when reading this passage was the difference in character between each individual. Mel seemed to have a pessimistic yet seemingly realistic outlook on love for the most part. Terri, Mel's second wife, was the helpless romantic that believed love still existed in a relationship despite harmful and even abusive actions. Laura seemed to have an optimistic while reasonable outlook on love as did her husband; the narrator. As the group was diverse in their views of love, the symbolism for the ambiguity faced in love everyday is shown. Each character seems to express their confusion and even frustration on the topic of love throughout the passage. Mel puts forward the point that although he's in love with Terri his current wife, if he was to die she would more than likely grieve yet eventually love again. How could something so sacred be contradictory in so many situations? This ambiguity almost answers the question of the title “What do we talk about when we talk about love.” It proves the point that love and its mysteries are still being discovered. Despite the characters diversity a correlation is seen between them in that fact that they are all on their second marriage. This correlation shows the uncertainty of love and the fact that love does not always play out the way we think it will. Each character had previously loved someone before his or her current lover. The passage uses individuals who had been torn and tossed around by the roller coaster of love to express its ambiguity and uncertainty. Additionally it seems the passage may tie the ambiguity of love into the ambiguity of the heart. There are many references to the human heart throughout the passage, as it is a universal symbol for love.
One major reference is Mel’s profession as a cardiologist, one who works with hearts. Most importantly though is the ending excerpt “I could hear my heart beating. I could hear everyone’s heart. I could hear the human noise we sat there making, not one of us moving, not even when the room went dark.” The patterns and topic of love seem impossible to explain, just as the motives of the human heart.

Post One

My earliest memories of literature date back to my childhood and the numerous stories read to me before bedtime every night. These varied from passages of "Psalty the Singing Song Book" to "The Berenstain Bears." My most recent memories involve a lot of sports, a lot of sun, and some books. The most significant literary text I have read has to be "The Shack" by William P. Young. It was not only life changing but also inspirational. Literature matters for the purpose of inspiring not only the mind but also the heart. The Bible gives many examples of words being an extremely strong weapon and tool within the spiritual and physical realm. Literature in other words deals with not only one of the most powerful yet important aspects of life. I feel literature is important in every aspect of life.